George Carlin never stopped being funny and never stopped telling it like it is. If you haven't seen any of his standup, you should check it out.

Here he is talking about how language has changed.

I hear commercials on the radio every day for these upscale steak restaurants. It's usually a couple of guys talking about how great the food and atmosphere are. At the end, they always dedicate the same song to their wives and the commercial ends with a line from that song. This week, they're advertising their special mother's day menu and they end by dedicating that song to mother's everywhere. Here are the lyrics that play:

It's a sin, my darling, how I love you.

Now, I know they didn't mean for that to sound squicky; it's just the song they always use. But I couldn't stop laughing the first time I heard it.

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I really wish the new sandwich guy didn't just plop the apportioned slices of ham in the middle of the bread. Dude, you're supposed to spread it out some. I would think anyone who's ever eaten a sandwich could figure that out.

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I want to move to the Pacific Northwest and run one of these places. So, if anyone has a few hundred thousand dollars you want to loan me, just let me know. I'm good for it.

Hee. I just realized that some of the rooms have small human-like beds for the dogs.

Snapple real fact #8:

A bee has 5 eyes.

(I miss reprintgoddess)

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHARLI! You have brightened my day more times than I can count!

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Today is not going well for me. I swear I would probably kill someone if it wouldn't make me miss the finale tonight.

With poetry, you get a story. After reading the talent show recap from weesta, I was reminded of my fourth-grade talent show. (And the word "talent" is used very loosely here.) I'm not sure why I felt obligated to participate, but I remember my mother suggesting I recite a poem. Because, apparently, my talent was....memorization and public speaking? Little did I know this would lead to other poetry reciting engagements before the end of fifth grade. My Spanish teacher had me go to other schools to recite a poem and my music teacher had me recite a poem for our big Christmas production. (I wanted to be a singing snowman, but they wouldn't let me do both. And I guess no one else could learn Twas the Night Before Christmas in Texas, That Is.) Luckily, my mad poetry reciting skillz were forgotten by the time I started Jr. High.

( Here's the poem that started it all. )

I wasn't going to say anything about this because I'm a little too worked up to present a solid or eloquent opinion. And I don't usually get into stuff like this in my journal. However, this just keeps swimming around in my head and I'm not going to get any work done today if I don't get it off my chest.

( Warning: It's about freedom of speech and music )

Big thunderstorms came through last night with lots of wind. I woke up around 1:00 to see my clock flashing so I reset it. I woke up a little while later to no electricity. When it didn't come back on after a few minutes, I got up to call the electric company. I only stepped on two of the dog's bones and muttered a few curse words before getting the flashlight and making my way to the non-cordless phone. I accidentally called the hearing impaired number first, then left a message with the automated system. Then I grabbed my cell phone, set the alarm on that for 5:00 and went back to bed. When the alarm went off, it had started storming again, so I had to wait until it died down to get up. No point in even trying to take the dogs out in weather like that.

I showered and put on makeup by the light of my camping lantern and had to just let my hair dry on the way to work. Yeah, I look lovely today. My mom was coming over to take my dogs to her house (she likes to hang out with the granddogs at least once a week) so I gave her a mission to save the Ben & Jerry's. She's a saint. She just called and said she took everything out of my freezer and put it in hers. (She's also letting the dogs play with their supervised-only toys.) They have no idea when they'll have the electricity back on, but hopefully it will be today. Anyway, I'm sleepy, I have a ton of work to do today, and I'm just not motivated. I would ask for somebody to yell at me to get to work, but I would probably just roll my eyes and flip you off.

To this day, reading Dr. Seuss books makes me happy. Now, however, I see so much more in them than I did as a kid. There's one book in particular that I make a point to read quite often. It just sums up life so wonderfully and motivates me when I find myself in the "waiting place."

( Oh, The Places You'll Go )

I love George Clooney. Not just because he's hot (although, there is that), but he's also funny and intelligent.

A Chat with George

I got this in an email today. They're just so adorable, I had to share.

( Just don't think about the fact that they could bite off your face )

So I watched most of A Walk to Remember this morning. Yes, it’s a manipulative, sappy movie and I cry every time, then get mad at myself for getting sucked into it. But Shane West is just so sweet. Luckily, I was saved from wallowing in my tears by a particularly bad and cheesy 80s movie: Satisfaction.

( Snarking on Cheesy 80s Movie )

Maybe it's the season, but I've really wanted to say this for awhile. I just don't know how to put into words the joy I have found getting to know the SNSFs. There's so much I don't know about all of you, but that doesn't seem to matter. I don't think I've ever met so many people I felt so connected to so quickly. I don't mean to sound trite when I say this, but it really is beautiful. Everyone is so open and supportive and bright. When I say that SickFuckVille is my happy place, I mean it because you guys are wonderful (even when you're bitchy). I've never met people online before and I'm more than a little surprised by how much I really care about everyone. So, thank you for being the truly beautiful and unique individuals that you are. I hope you all have a joyous holiday and find that life has even more wonderful things to offer in the coming year.

Stolen from Nadia, because I'm like that.

( You know you want to know )

I can't believe it's almost Monday again. I have done absolutely nothing productive this weekend. Oh, wait. I shaved my legs. Does that count? ( Some whine and pictures )

Because I actually got some work done, I decided to fill this out like everyone else.
( Read more... )

Is it time to go home, yet? No? Because I have a headache and I just don't really want to work today. I've been at my desk for almost three hours now and I haven't done much of anything. I was trying to get caught up in the MM, but IE keeps giving me an error and closing. It's really annoying and I'm way too co-dependent with that site.

I'm going to listen to John Denver some more and maybe that will help my headache go away. I love his music, but it's really just making me sad today. Maybe because he's dead. Or maybe because I think of the muppets, then remember that Jim Hensen's dead, too. Man, I'm really bumming myself out here. I think I just want to be a little sad today. Of course, I still laughed until I snorted when I saw Smarter's sparkly Texas Angle (actually, it was JA's Texas Angle, but Smarter made the picture). So I guess the emotional forecast for today is sadness with intermittent laughter.

Okay, I'm off to post another comment, then I'm actually going to attempt to work. I give it 15 mintues, tops.

I talked to my friend last night ( Read more... )

I am not going to freak out about this. ( Read more... )

Normally, I would love to lie around and barely get off the couch for three days. I'm just lazy like that. However, it's really not as much fun when you're temperature has barely dropped below 100 and you've coughed until your stomach muscles are sore (and I wasn't even sure I had stomach muscles). Anyway, screw this. I have to get back to work tomorrow, so I decided to get some things done around the house today. Maybe if I just pretend like I'm feeling better, I will actually feel better. I got dressed, ate a piece of toast, and started a load of laundry (which included folding the clean laundry from a week ago). Now, I'm coughing, exhausted, and nauseous. Stupid, freakin' cold.